Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Save the Fat Boys

Greetings to all friends and family (and to those perhaps visiting by accident)!!

I apologize up front, but this post is somewhat more of a solicitation than anything else. Allow me to explain: today at work (at good ol' Casper's Ice Cream) we had an event that hasn't happened since the company first started - a product recall. Wait a sec!! Before you freak out too much, this recall was of no fault of our own. Does anyone remember the major peanut issue during this last month and its connection with salmonella (Sam and Ella?) Well, the whole hullabaloo finally found its way into Utah and up to our little factory in Richmond. However, it should hereby be decreed among all nations, kindreds, tongues, and people that any and all product that enters and leaves the factory is thoroughly tested and documented for any kind of contamination whatsoever. So rest assured, good citizens, that any product you see in the stores is perfectly safe.

Well, the FDA (Food and Dumb Administration) decided they don't care about our quality assurance (ironically enough) and would rather just make things easier on themselves by making us recall all of our Nut Sundaes within the peanut contamination time frame. The most ridiculous part of this whole recall comes from the fact that the FDA initiated it behind our backs!! We told the FDA we were not going to make a decision about a recall until all testing and documentation of the product were reviewed thoroughly. They agreed to this (so we thought). In the meantime, they took our list of clients and started to call all of them (without our knowing) telling them that if they had any Fatboys that they were to be destroyed on site. This started the recall and, as a result, we were forced into the recall procedure before any reviewing could even take place. Then, the FDA sent one of their gremlins out to our factory to make sure we tossed every last box of this product into a convoy of dump trucks (note the plural) to be disposed of. It about makes one cry to see so much wonderful ice-cream being hauled away to meet its demise at the local garbage dump. What the heck is the government trying to do here?!?!?!

Well, the company that supplied our peanuts is out of business now and the FDA will in no way pay for any of the mess they created, so we have to cover our own losses, which is fairly substantial to our small business. My boss made an excellent point in that a lot more loss comes from the FDA souring our company's reputation than actual lost product. What do our clients think when the FDA calls up saying that they got bad product from us before we even have a chance to communicate with them ourselves!! However, it should be remembered that all our product is good and contaminant free. We had proof of this, and the FDA had nothing!!! But I guess that didn't really matter in the end...

Thus, I now come to all of you to personally ask one little favor in behalf of our family and our friends out at work: if you are able and willing, please buy just one box of your favorite Fatboy ice-cream product as a gesture of goodwill and compassion towards us. If you would do this, we would be very very truly very truly grateful!

But that's not all, I will also provide you with three excellent reasons why you should buy a box of your favorite Fatboy ice-cream product:

1. I, McLain Ward Knutson, and my faithful brother in the mix, Bj Sutherland, personally make all the ice-cream that you see sitting on the shelves at your local supermarket.


2. THEY TASTE ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL!!!

3. You would be supporting our happy hair-netted family!


We thank you in advance for helping us out, if you can. We love you all!!

Thanks,

McLain
Sheri &
Benjamin

6 comments:

Knutson Family said...

We're gonna start a Fat Boy REVOLUTION, brother, mark my words. We'll show the world that the Food and Dumb Administration can't keep good 'ol American capitalism and entrepreneurship down.

Long live the ice cream!

LONG LIVE THE FAT BOY!!

I'm gonna go buy a box tonight!!!

Jeanette Stephens said...

We'll buy a box or two! Bad deal about the peanuts. Love you guys!!!!!

Sarah and Trevor said...

Dude that sucks! Jordan and I were talking about it as I was driving home from work. We got ourselves so riled up I developed a case of road rage. I wanted to plow the old impala right into the first car I saw with an Obama bumper sticker. But I didn't see one. I way we storm the capitol and throw frozen fatboys at the politicians and gay protesters!!! by the way, who is that handsome man so daintily devouring a fatboy in your post?

Kimbrey-Daniel said...

Hi McLain and family-
(It's Kimbrey) I saw your name on Natalie's blog and had to come see what your up to. Sorry about the peanut thing. If eating ice cream is a sacrifice I need to make, I will do what it takes :) Your have a cute little family.

nettie said...

okay (sigh) we will sacrifice for you!

Liz said...

Our family would love to sacrific! Especially for the raspberry cheesecake! Maybe a box or two...